Day 25: The Wrap Up- Did I Get It Done? #AprilBlogADay

Prompt: Wrapping Up The School Year- How will you know if you did what you needed to do this year?

I don't know if you are like me, but usually in early August, about 4 weeks before school starts, the ideas really begin to start flowing and developing.  All the things I want to do differently, to try, begin to take shape.  Last year I taught AP Lang for the first time.  I also had cancer last year.  The second half of my school year was a bit of a mess. I did everything I could to keep up with work and manage my own care and healing.  Being sick and being a teacher is perhaps the most difficult thing I have had to do. I had hoped that this year would be easier.  It was not.  I had surgery to help my paralyzed vocal cord in November and a week into my recovery I found out I had gallstones (as a result from weight loss surgery in November 2013).  You can read more about that journey here. 

The first 4 months of 2016 have been painful and exhausting.  I used all my self-treated days and had to go into my bank of days I have saved.  I know this is what they are for, but I have tremendous guilt about what I have not done this year.  I know there are students who were mad at me for missing so much work.  "If she doesn't care enough to be here...."  Things like that are heartbreaking.  There are few things more important to me than my teaching, my kids.  When my health and my body stopped me from being my best self, it made me angry and disappointed. I scrambled to try and revamp and work with my collaborating teachers to make sure things didn't get too far off track.  I put things into place in the last 6 weeks to ramp up.  The AP exam is May 11th.  We will know in July if the ramp up paid off.  For my 10th graders, we are going to begin writing prep for the global history regents exam in June.  I have a handful of 11th graders I will be working with to prep for retaking the ELA exam, also in June.  So it seems the best indicators are going to be test scores.  Did I, we...do what we needed to do this year.  I hope so.  Time will tell.             
 

#12 Three Important Things To Make The End of The Year Manageable (with musical accompaniment)! #Edblogaday

I had a hard day today.  It was capped off with my 9th graders electing to just toss their laptops into the cart in a pile rather than storing and plugging them in as we have been doing since SEPTEMBER.  It made me so angry and disappointed on so many levels.  I kept the kids, telling them that they would all be losing their laptop privileges for the remainder of the year.  However if the responsible parties came forward and took responsibility for the lapse in judgment, I would reevaluate.  And at that, I let them go.

Two young men came up to me right after class and took responsibility explaining what they did and where the error in judgment had come into play.  I thanked them for their honesty, expressed my disappointment and that I would need to think about the consequence for the choice- which ultimately will be that they will manage and monitor the laptops for the remainder of the year, a good job for both boys.

Moments like these are good reminders for teachers, that the year is coming to an end, kids and teachers alike are tired and mistakes will be made, on both parts.  I offer three things to help us all get through the remainder of the school year.

1.  Try a little tenderness.  Take a moment, breathe through those tough times that push you to your limit and step back.  99% of the time, it is just a misstep, not a deliberate choice.  Be tender, with yourself, with your kids, with your colleagues.  You will be all the better for it.

2. Find moments to celebrate.  I don't know if you are like me, but I have been with ALL my classes ALL year long.  No mid semester change.  We are ALL tired of each other.  Bring in treats, put some music on and have a mid class dance break, give kids awards for non academic endeavors.  Anything that brings smiles to your faces.  Celebrate with your colleagues too.  I know we just closed out teacher appreciation week- but if you are anything like I am, celebrations, especially in the next month will be life savers!

3. RELEASE & LET GO.  At some point you have to surrender and ride the wave.  Don't fight it.  Especially if your year culminates in two weeks of testing as it does for all NY high school students.  It's a tremendous amount of pressure for students and teachers.  Elaborate tutoring schedules are created, teachers give up afternoons and Saturdays to spend that extra time to help our highest need kids have a better shot at doing well.  I don't know if you are like me, but I want kids to do well, so much so that I get stressed out about it.  It think some of this is carry over from years in alternative schools where passing these exams was a HUGE deal, not just a hurdle to get over.  At some point, you have to let go.  You have done all that you can and it is time to let our kids rise to the occasion and do what they ARE prepared for.  In most cases it is success.  If it isn't, well cross that bridge when you come to it.