An Open Letter to Incredible Women on: Words, Gender and Unintentional Consequences

Dear Incredible Women: 

This post has been coming for a long time.

On Friday, I along with another amazing female teacher Angela, sat in a large circle with our two advisory groups combined for what is becoming a weekly tradition of young women, talk, and challenging of thinking and ideas.  I have deliberately brought topics to the circle that are things that I am grappling with and genuinely want to hear what they have to think and say on a topic.

This week, I brought to them the questions: 

• When do we as females transition from being girls to women? 
• When do we begin to self identify as women and even in some cases- like I have- reject the label of girl, because I have earned my status as women in my family, community, and society? 

I listened to them dance around the question for 30 minutes, touching on everything from their relationships and learning from their own mothers, aunties, and older sisters to what they feel they need to accomplish in life and how that is tied to womanhood. 

At the end of class, I reminded them of my original question and they finally flushed out an answer for me: post college, financial independence, established in a career.  No one mentioned relationships, intimacy, or the cliche "coming of age" ideas that I had grown up with.  I shared with them the thinking I had learned in my Adolescent Psych class at NYU 10 years ago that there is a period in developed, western nations (think United States, Canada, UK, etc.) called "Emerging Adulthood".  It is the period after high school, but through college and then after as one transitions from college to high school.  The thinking is tied to biological research around brain development and that the brain is not fully developed until the middle 20's (some say later!) This theory of Emerging Adulthood corresponds with when my group of Junior and Senior girls said they would feel like they could call themselves: woman.  (Here is a pretty good article about Emerging Adulthood.)

The bell rang. The desks were moved back to the original formation.  The girls moved on to last period.  As an educator, I never know if the time and space to think about theses big ideas has an impact?  I don't remember anyone in high school talking with me like this. Challenging me to think about what was important to me and what my timeline might look like.  And what it means to be a women.

I don't want to be referred to as a girl. I am almost 40. I am not a girl.  I have been teased in my grad program about my feelings when it comes to referring to adults as: girls or boys.  But, here is my bigger concern: that young women, women who have status in the media and are seen as role models to girls like my students, continue to refer to themselves as girl.  I have seen the hashtag #girlboss even used by the incredible Tiffany Pham who was named by Forbes as a Top 30 under 30.  Would you EVER see the hashtag #boyboss?  I mean really?   Women, own it.  Be: #THEBOSS or even simply #BOSS.  

When I listened to our students sit and talk about when they thought they would feel comfortable calling themselves woman it was tied to experience, knowledge, independence, and achievement. This is an amazing shift from generations past when being a woman was tied to menstruation, having sex for the first time or getting married. Our female students are incredible but setting the example of continuing to tie achievements to gender- and especially childhood, does a disservice to these strides.  

So to all the amazing young women, who still feel they are emerging or have not yet become the women you hope to be: that is ok, but I encourage you to think about the messages you are sending to the next generations through social media and your digital platforms.  Word choice is important.  Leadership is essential.  If we, as women, want things like being POTUS to no longer be novel, then we need to pursue them as people, humans and not diminish the power of achievement by equating it with childhood. 

21. When Do You Feel Most Like You Work On A Team? Reflection on what makes a successful department. #edblogaday

Source: Golspie H.S.

You have all heard it, "There is no I in TEAM."  I always tell my kids that cliches are cliches for a reason.  I have had some amazing team work experiences.  They seem to empower all the players, celebrate each person's strengths, and showcase what working together and hard can produce.  I have had experienced this trifecta of teamwork most frequently when I worked in professional theatre.  I think it is in part because each member of the team has a speciality and focus, something unique that they bring to the table and that is celebrated and capitalized on for the betterment of the production.

In schools it is the same, yet different.  Yesterday at our spring day long professional development we began the day with an exercise I have done at least three times now.  The Leadership Compass Self-Assessment (from Be The Change Consulting) You go through the list of traits for each of the compass points and then determine which direction represents you the most.  We were then directed to go and stand at that point.  I moved to the East- the "visionary".  I looked around the room and one member of our ELA department stood at each point of the compass.  This is why we work so well.  We all bring different strengths to the table and we balance one another.  

As we have interviewed new ELA teachers this spring, its been interesting to really think about what we as a group need.  What will both challenge and compliment?  What strengths does someone need to bring to the table to further build an already strong group?  I think there is a lot we could do to work better as a team.  My hope for next year is that there is more time for content specific PD for our department, to learn and grow together, not just facilitating business/administrative decimation of information. I want to see us evolve, take on different points of the compass and navigate through out first year with 9-12 grades.

16. Appreciation and Expectations- My Journey Through Heartbreak #Edblogaday

A friend of mine posted the above image on Facebook last week and I set it aside, knowing that it would become a blog post.  I suppose it would have made a great Teacher Appreciation Week post, but after participating in the #NYEdChat last night on Twitter, it is clear to me, now more than ever, that teachers thrive in positivity.  This does not mean that we need to inflate each others egos or provide untruths.  It means that teachers should speak up and speak out about what IS working.  This is why writing about appreciation, not just for a week in May is integral to growth, development and cultivation of community.

I, like many of us, have already had many jobs in my short 38 years. I have had great employers and I have had horrible ones.  When I saw this image, the first thought into my head was, of course I do! I want to work hard when the hard work is recognized.  I have always thought of myself as someone who does work hard.  My parents let me get my first job when I was 10, as a Mother's Helper- before I was old enough to babysit.  I worked at the local Rec Center on Saturdays, earning a paycheck for score keeping through the winter basketball season.  (Though at the time it was really just a way for me to be around the older boys from the neighborhood who I thought were cute.)  I think I filed my first Federal tax return in middle school.  I understood that hard work pays off and leads to more work, more OPPORTUNITY. 

Teaching is the first field I have worked in where appreciation is much harder to come by than punitive gestures.  It leaves teachers feeling guarded and overly cautious, and as a result, not trusting themselves to do the work they know they are trained to do.  The work they know they are good at and in most cases they love.  At the end of year 4 I was crying almost every day at work. I should have found a new job.  I felt a loyalty to my students and stayed one more year, even through it was not a good decision.  I no longer had the support of my administration (and it was unclear why this has happened) and it felt like nothing I could do was good enough.  I had tenure.  I had great test scores.  I moved students forward every year.  It didn't matter.  I didn't feel appreciated.  I felt hated and as a result I didn't want to take on any more than I needed to.  I left right at the end of the school day.  My job that I had loved more than anything was breaking my heart.

The longer I am in the system, the more stories I hear like this.  It now frames my thinking about what it means to be a leader.  I am starting an admin program this fall and I have started to build many ideas about what it means to be a school leader. I have been watching our administration more closely, noting how teachers are supported, encouraged, developed and appreciated.  It's all food for thought as I grow in my career.

Most days, I do feel appreciated. Most days I know I play an important role at my school.  I don't know that every teacher at my school feels this way but I think it's possible for appreciation to be felt by all.  Not just for one week in May.

Day 10: Why Do I Love My Mama? Because She Helped Me Kick Cancer's Butt!

Last Christmas was the first time I had been in my hometown for the holidays since I moved to NYC 10 years years ago.  My husband and I flew for a week of celebration and family. My mama and I got to have some great time together that week.  I didn't know I had cancer and the most exciting thing coming up was hoping the Seahawks would make a return trip to the now ill-fated Superbowl.  This picture was taken on an early morning outing to Starbucks before some post holiday shopping at Fred Meyer.

One of the hardest phone calls I ever made was the call to my parents to tell them that the biopsy had come back positive and that I had thyroid cancer.  This was one of those moments where you don't want to live 3000 miles from your mom, but instead across the street so you can cry in your parents arms.  My mom didn't miss a beat though and by weeks end had figured out how to take the time off so she could fly to NYC to be with me and my husband to support, help, be mom and mother-in-law and anything else that might crop up.

  This was the morning of my surgery, a total thyroidectomy and
the removal of a fist size tumor in my neck.

 Thumbs up has been the mantra through out this process.  Especially through social media. Quick check ins to let friends and family know that things were okay.  

That first week was hard, emotional, and included an unanticipated trip to the ER two days post op because calcium and magnesium dropped dangerously low.  My mom was there with me for the 12+ hours and held me when I lost my composure and cried and cried.  My mom was there to just be Mom and she was the best medicine.  

My mom shouldered so much that week.  I had the honor of hearing the last conversation she would have with one of her oldest friends before she lost her battle with cancer.  It was sad and beautiful and made me more thankful than ever that my cancer was the kind that could be cut out and discarded.  I had worried that I was keeping her from something but ultimately, I knew my mom was exactly where she wanted and needed to be.

Love you Mama, today, tomorrow and every day.  

Day 9: Nerves #Edblogaday

This next week has been almost a year in the making.

This year I took on the challenge of teaching AP Language and Composition.  I had never taught it before and honestly, never really thought I would have the opportunity to.  I had always taught students who really struggled and the rigor and speed with which AP has to be paced (especially that NYC schools not start until September, in some cases a month later than schools in other parts of the country) and while I believe I could have moved students forward and they would have been better prepared for college, I don't believe many of them would have been able to pass the AP Exam.

It's difficult, I'll be the first to say it, and rightly so.  It should be.

When I sat down with my Principal this past fall and we discussed the goals I had for my students this year I settled on this:  While passing the AP exam would be fantastic, if I move my students forward- help them improve their writing, their analysis and critical thinking skills, their knowledge of rhetoric and why, when and how it is used, and take away some of the fear they may have about transitioning to college and being able to do it- then I have been successful.  I do believe that many of my kids will get a 3+ on the exam.  There will, undoubtably be some that don't.

I am trying to release my anxiety and any disappointment that is lurking in shadows.  It exists though, coupled with all the missteps I made this year, my first year as AP teacher.  There are a plethora of things I will to next year in my class as well as further developing the vertical alignment of the ELA courses at our school.  Realizing skills that they were never taught and determining why they need to know then and where they should be introduced, and recursively retaught with increased rigor as students grow.  This is part of my job as educator to get better, stronger, smarter when it comes to what and how I teach.  I owe it to the legacy of this first AP class and any that I teach in the years to come

I was up at 5:15 this morning.  Today my kids are taking a full length practice exam.  I wanted to do it a couple weeks ago but competition with other AP exams that were last week took precedence.  I am expecting 29 of 32 and will be providing extended time for my two students with IEPs.  I came up with a pretty good method (not great) for self assessing - so I will run the MC through Scantron and Monday, I will have a double period to debrief- self assessing and completing the ridiculously complicated formula to calculate a score, a predictive for students going into their exam on Wednesday.

I am sure I am not as nervous as they are, but I won't lie- I am nervous...

Day 4: Teaching Is..A collection of moments, good and bad that make for an amazing Journey #Edblogaday

Day 4: For the beginning of Teacher Appreciation Week, I have a Teaching Is...poem for you (it's not all rainbows and puppies).


Teaching is...

That moment when you step
into a classroom as a pre-service teacher
questioning every choice they make as
you just observe.

That moment when you step into a classroom
& your cooperating teacher didn't have
any idea
that you were going to be there
& as a result spends the semester resenting you.

That moment when you are finally in your own
classroom
and are no longer a renter but an
OWNER.

That moment when only 3
parents
show up for parent-teacher
conferences (for both days).

That moment when you tell
those 3 parents how well their
child is doing in your class
& they cry because it's the first
time this has ever happened.

That moment when you lose a student
to violence...
to drugs...
to an asthma attack...

That moment when you are the only
constant and consistant
adult
in a child's life.

That moment when you cry at
Graduation, every year because
you know what it took for your
kids to get to that stage.

That moment when you realize
it's time to leave the school...
community...
you have called home.

That moment when you take
a job in a new school and discover
it's not the place or the people
it is the profession-and that's why
you stay.

That moment when students
LEAD
in every class you teach.
They become the teachers.

That moment when you have to
explain to other teachers
that it is not CCLS that are the
problem.

That moment when you begin
to really become the
teacher you were meant to be
by supporting the development
of other
teachers.

That moment when you find out
you have cancer
and your school community
becomes your
family.

That moment when you find
your voice
in a community that
was...IS right at your
fingertips.

That moment when a job
is also a profession
& a career
that you love.

***********************************************

Teaching is complicated, challenging, emotional, invigorating, surprising, joyous, reflective.  It is one of the best roller coasters I have ever been on.  I wish I could say that I loved every moment of every year but there were years when I cried in my classroom with the door closed because it WAS that difficult.  I keep coming back.  I keep working in the concrete jungle because school is the place where I feel the most alive, do the best work and I am the most authentically ME. This job is not for everyone but even those who don't make it past that magic 3 year mark take something away, they are changed because Teaching Is... A JOURNEY.

Day 3: My Concern? How to take back the narrative. #Teachingis... #Edblogaday

Day 3 topic:
What's your biggest concern about teaching and what can we do about it?

We all have things that concern us.  There are the day to day things, the larger scale things, then the systemic things. Immediately, passing rate for the AP exam on the 13th, how to push the three kids who didn't do well on the state exam to move forward before June 2nd.  The Spring Talent Show in June and how to get the underclassmen involved.  Supporting 9th grade team to help get their kids read for the science and math exams as well.  Hiring fairs and events as we look to hire our last cohort of teachers as my school grows to have all 4 grades. Completing the last of the observations for mentees for the year and logging those hours. Oh and lessons, always lessons....

Things like one ones I listed above come and go.  They are part of the constant flow of working in education.  Our work never stops.  These are not the things that concern me any more.  My bigger concerns now reside in the sentiments about teachers by public officials.  I watch the news in the morning as I get ready for work and there is one in particular that is disheartening. The picture is paints of who we are is inaccurate at best. In airing it in this high traffic time of 6-7 AM as many parents are getting ready for work, I wonder what they are internalizing.  Any counter on behalf of our union seems adversarial at best as thus begins the war of words.  This is where we need to come in.

Early on in my career someone told me that the climate, policies and ideas circulating about teaching and learning shift about every 8 years.  Next year will mark the beginning of my 8th year and I am hoping for a shift in the public narrative about teachers.  That is one of the reasons I started with the April Blog A Day challenge and now the Ed Blog A Day.  Even though I don't think that I have some great insight or brilliant piece of thinking on teaching and learning, by being authentic, looking for progress and not dwelling in negative, I hope to work to change the narrative, one blog at a time.

Next week is the beginning of Teacher Appreciation Week.  With your colleagues and even students ask them to finish the statement: "Teaching is..." and post it to your social media platforms #teachingis.  There are some great resources here with the  Teaching Is Partner Pack. This is one easy way to continue working to change the narrative and what a powerful way to bring teachers in your school community together to start each day in celebrating what we do. (Special thanks to Jenn Ward for sharing this with the #Edblogaday community) 

Day 28: The Worst Advice We've Ever Heard About Technology in the classroom? #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Day 28...The Worst Advice We've Ever Heard About Technology in the classroom

It's just after 7 on day 28 and I have been thinking about this topic all day.  For the life of me, I could not think of any specific advice I had been given about using tech.  I am one who has embraced tech and often ends up teaching other teachers how to integrate themselves. 

At my current school, we have a computer science department (because we are a CS school) who for the most part are working on an entirely different level of tech than most of us.  I have great aspirations to let better at tech- at least learn some basics of coding so I can talk more with our students about what and how they are doing- but finding the time to sit down with Alice or some version of Scratch is overwhelming for this old lady.  Eric, graciously spent time with me on two occasions teaching me-or trying to teach me- how to use Doctopus but my brain just can't wrap itself around that one.  I do have my mainstays: Skedula (that has improved so much over the last 5 years) and I wish our school used more of it's features, but it's our online grade book.  I also use Teacher Dashboard, a lot.  It is on my top 5 digital teaching tools ever.

I guess for me, the prompt should really be: what misconceptions did you/do you have about tech in the classroom.  

Here are three:  

1.  All tools work for all teachers, because they are teaching tools.  

One of the most frustrating parts of EdTech- is that there are so many tools and administrators want to try new things, get on board with what will best help students move forward, support teacher development, and provide the all important data to support positive instructional outcomes.  I stand by this: do a few things really well.  REALLY WELL.  Not two dozen things half way or sort of.  I feel this way about lots of school related things.

2. Practice makes perfect.

We are not all excellent at everything.  I can be proficient, even ok- but who wants to be just ok?  I want to be HIGHLY EFFECTIVE.  There are been a few things over the years that I just couldn't figure out.  I don't push myself to master all the nuances (like with Excel) but I also don't have cause to use it very much because I teach English.  


3. More experienced (read: old) teachers can't learn new tricks.

It's all about what an individual clicks with- don't assume talent coaches.  


It's now almost 9.  Cooked and eaten dinner.  Still have a PPT to make for class tomorrow- thankful for this tech that will let me quickly, prep, save and get to go to bed.

Day 19: "I Think In Word Not Excel" or "Tech In The Classroom?" #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Day 19: Tech In The Classroom?  How? Why? Should we?

When I tell my students that When I was in college... I didn't have a laptop,  and a cell phone didn't come until the last couple years and it was a clunker.  When I started grad school in 2006, the idea of having a laptop in class hadn't even dawned on me.  I like taking notes on paper.  Sitting in grad school, next to Millenials with their fancy shiny new Mac Books and me with my spiral notebook, I felt antiquated. 

Boy, have things changed in 10 years.  Today, I sit in the Starbucks a couple blocks from my house, my Venti Cold Brew (if you haven't switched to cold brew, from anywhere for that matter, you should) my morning pastry, the ridiculous music planing in the coffee shop, and me, sitting in front of a MacBook Air, blogging.  Could I embody a stereotype any more than this?

My laptop is provided by my school and I am beyond grateful.  I have gotten so many hours of work done on this little machine.  When I was with out it for a month last summer when they were doing inventory and upgrades, I was at a loss. I do have a desktop, but being tied to my office, especially in the summer, was an inconvenience.  I have embraced tech (well, most of of).

Working at a school that is ALL ABOUT TECH has meant that I ramp up quickly.  I fill in holes that were lacking of resources and find myself looking for new things that I may be able to use.  We have SmartBoards in every classroom, each class has a cart of laptops and as a result I was about 90% paper free in my English classes last year.  It was a eye opening experience.  It was the first time I felt that I was really preparing students for college too.  Using Google Docs and Teacher Dashboard by Hapara allowed me to support and engage with students in more ways than ever before.  Working in a school that supported this use of tech changed my teaching practice for the better.  (I will qualify, there are things I don't like and wont use that some of the CS Department uses and loves.  I don't find it user friendly (yet)  and despite training, wont use. I think in Word, not Excel.) 

Some of my favorites: 

• Google Docs
• It is still the gold standard, despite it's flaws (a completely inadequate grammar support and formatting options).  I lost all the lessons and materials I had created over my first year and a half of teaching thanks to a faulty flash drive.  Never again.  Hello Cloud, I love you.
• TurnItIn.com 
• I started using this platform for AP.  While not a new resource for students and teachers, it was new for me and I love it.  It keeps student plagiarism in check, offers grammar and punctuation tools/support (especially helpful for my ELLs) when students use it, peer review and feedback, and online grading and feedback.  I love it.
• Quizlet Online Flash Cards
• I have used this for both AP and for Theatre Arts. I can create sets of cards and students can create their own.  It can be used online and there is a mobile app. For courses that have a plethora of vocabulary, this is a great tool. You can also generate quizzes (I don't love this feature, but it is there and I have used it).
• Shmoop


• It just keeps getting better and better as year progress. I only use the free materials.  I love the videos they put together for books.  I think it is more visually interesting for students, especially those who struggle.  Adding "academic WD-40 to squirt on the tracks whenever we can." Indeed.

There are drawbacks to using and depending on so much tech- the biggest being, when hardware doesn't work or the network is down, I am screwed.  Thankfully, the percentage of time that this happens is small, but when it does, I have to think quickly.  I have learned to trouble shoot most connectivity problems and students always have a back up- good old paper and pen- just in case.  

I find myself thinking, pen and paper is not ideal and I can't believe that is my thinking.  But it isn't. This is the state of education and it isn't changing.  I hope that when my students look back on their time in my classroom, they say, "I learned to take really great notes in Ms. Towne's class," or "Ms. Towne taught me how to organize my materials when I am doing research." I learn a lot as I go.  Kids teach me more.  I am teacher future developers, coders and designers their inspirations is everywhere and who am I to get in the way of inspiration?

Day 18: Pump Up The Volume #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt 18: What's small step are you willing to take to elevate the profession?

I suspect that what Chris meant when choosing the word "elevate" was about bringing the profession to a new level, to rise up.  I quickly looked up the definition of elevate and read: To increase the amplitude, intensity, or volume of.  The first thing that came into my mind was, I need to pump up the volume around my craft.  And of course, being a woman of a certain age, this is what popped into my head next: 

For those of you not familiar with the 1990 movie, Christian Slater (swoon!) runs a pirate radio station that earns a cult following amongst his peers.  At the time it was a lesson in free speech and chaos and continuing to cement Slater as my dream husband for many years to follow.

There has been so much rhetoric, both positive and negative about teachers, unions, charter and public schools over the last few years and its place in social media is achieving a fever pitch now especially around opting out of state tests. My Twitter feed is regularly flooded with tweets that are highly political, teaching activists pumping up the volume on what they think is important.  I love that colleagues feel passionately about this work and are willing to elevate knowledge of the interwebs to shed light on things that are happening in and around education.

I however have never been especially political.  While I do feel strongly about many things, for example, I am NOT against the common core, but I do have some very specific feelings and thinking about where it has gone wrong, I am not 100% comfortable flooding social media with my platform.  I think there are better ways for me to elevate the volume on what impacts teachers and what I think is important.  For me, this small step towards elevation and increasing the volume and rhetoric around my profession is going to be through blogging.  While I may not get the same coverage and dissemination that others get, I know many of you are reading, and hearing and sharing.  

I will keep talking about what I have experienced, what I think is important, and working to elevate my craft every day through doing so.

Day 9: Dear Meredith... #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt 9:
"What would you say to your
beginning teacher-self"?

We have all been there: if I knew then what I know now but in reality, we can't know- it's what helps us grow as humans, as educators.  This was my first classroom, before kids, before piles of papers, before learning happened. It was also my home for 5 years.  I loved this room.  The first thing I would tell my younger self is: Always create a space that YOU feel good in.  You will spend more time here than anyone else (even kids).  It is an extension and representation of you, what you believe and the teaching and learning that is taking place there.

Eventually I had a smart board and white boards, but this is how the school year started.

This is my favorite board of ALL time. Books allow us to travel,
even if real life keeps us in one place.

Armed with materials from undergrad, I showcased different careers in theatre.
I had not learned to laminate yet and this didn't make it into year two.

In looking back, I did feel good in this room.  It had a stage, there was space to create and learn.  All teachers should be as lucky as I was to have a room this large.

Second thing I would tell myself is: Always stand up for your curriculum, prepare as much as you can and pick your battles.  In the first 5 years, working in a Transfer School I wrote 6 curricula a year- each 12 weeks long.  That is 30 different curricula.  Out of 30, there was 1 trimester where my choices were questioned and challenged.  (Not for the right reasons though.) I stood by the challenged planning but untimely I had to rewrite 2 weeks into the school year.  I had other battles that last year and this didn't need to be one of them.  

The third and what might be the most important thing I would tell my younger self: Don't be afraid to move on.  Life is too short to be unhappy.  I should have moved forward after my third year, to find a new working community.  I would always tell myself, one more year.  I'll give it one more year. Then I should have really moved on after my 4th year, but again I gave myself another year.  I would tell myself things like: I'll stick with it- for the kids...until so-and-so graduates...am I good enough to leave a place where I know I am good?  Can a be successful with a different population of students?  So much self-doubt had crept into my teaching practice, my confidence was gone.  I cried at work, more than I would like to admit.  I wish I had had the courage to do what I knew was the right move: leaving a place where I didn't feel welcome any longer.

My new classroom (above) after I made the decision to move forward.  

Me ready for a drama class at my new school, that I can teach in the auditorium (below).

Day 8: What was the question again? #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt 8: How should we foster question asking instead of answer getting?

I struggle with this.  Not in my design of challenging and rigorous questions to provoke higher level thinking but with the engagement of students in deeper thinking an questioning of each other and of the material....

I thought about this a lot today.  Here is what I came to:  in order to ask great questions, and engage in discussion means you have to LISTEN.  What I have seen my students do is this: they sit, they not, they can't really engage in discussion because they are NOT LISTENING. 

I did an exercise one day- having set a goal that I wanted my AP students to really work on note taking skills that they will need in the college classroom- I had showed them a brief 4 minute video on feminism.  There was a lot of information and the presenter spoke quickly, rattling off facts and figures interspersed with some humor and reflection.  The first time I showed them the video none of them took notes.  They watched passively, enjoying the video and laughing from time to time.  The following class I asked, "How many of you think you could pass a quiz about the video you watched on Monday?" A few, maybe 5 raised their hands.  "How many people took notes during the video?" Two kid's hands went up.  I knew I had missed the boat on this one.  It was a skill I should have been building in from day one.  Not just taking notes from lecture but from reading, class discussions, videos, reading homework!  These are the skills they are going to need to be successful in college.  Copious notes to digest, process, reflect, ask questions, thinking critically.

It's not a natural skill- it is something to be cultivated over time.  Accountable talk is great (and the prompts that we get students to use) but I need to do more to help kids develop the ability to listen, really HEAR and critically engage. 

Day 6: Small Wins #Aprilblogaday Challenge

Prompt 6: What was your most recent "awe-inspiring" moment in the classroom? 

I am off this week. It is a much needed break.  I returned to work 11 days after having my thyroid and a baseball size tumor removed from my neck as a preemptive strike against the cancer growing in my body.  I had little voice due to damage to my right vocal chord and found myself teaching with a cordless mic. I made it through 6 hours of parent-teacher conferences at the end of that first week back.  21 days post surgery I was done with most of my teaching as we went into break.  This spring break is a relief.  My voice is tired and my body too.  

I had planned to be back sooner.  I had meticulously planned the schedule for my 9th grade theatre students for all of March, including the time I had "budgeted" to be out.  I have an alternating schedule - one week I see each block 3 times the next only 2.  The kids had been working towards oral presentations- showcasing the research they did on a chosen figure from theatre history. In the unanticipated extra week I was out, my students as a result had an extra 3 days of class time to work on their projects with the clear expectation we would hit the ground running upon my return.

This is just what happened.  Over the following 6 school days 130 9th graders all got up and one by one delivered oral presentations.  Kid after kid walked to the front of the room, stepping to the podium, and with 5 minutes on the timer- monitored by a student timekeeper- each kid did their thing!  Even the students who had incomplete work still got up in front of a room of their peers (and we know how mean 14 year olds can be!) and spoke with poise and confidence.  Of course some were better than others, but every child stood up there and spoke with confidence.  

In September I told the kids: Theatre Skills Are Life Skills.  Few believe be but as the year progresses, they begin to understand.  Last week, when a kid would step to the front, hood up, face resting on their hand as they talked, I would tell them to imagine being at a professional internship this coming summer, would you do that in front of your boss?  Use the skills I know you have to share your hard work! 

130 presentations later (about 40 of them on the same person - I won't make that mistake again!) I was impressed and proud.  I was able to sit back and watch and learn from their work.  To provide helpful and actionable feedback as they continue to work to master skills and content as they prepare for 10th grade and beyond.

My favorite moment was on the last day of presentaions.  One of my ELLs got up and presented, Google Presentation riddled with spelling errors but it was ok.  The content was there and the presentation was sound.  I was impressed.  At the end of the day at staff PD we were asked to share a "high" for the week.  I shared about the presentation of this young man and how proud I was of him.  I got an email a couple hours later from his advisor titled: "You Made His Day" with the following: 

She went on to write: Gets even better!...

[Student],"Oh wow I didn't really want to do it because I get nervous when I have to speak in front of people." These small wins are the most awe-inspiring for me as an educator.

Day 5: This Must End! How WE can move education forward. #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt 5 : What practice, tradition, instructional strategy or anything else "must die". What needs to stop in order for Education to move forward.
 

There are many things that I like, love even.  I like the workshop model and UbD, I like many of the methods Dr. Janet Allen and Kaylene Beers have shared with the world.  Nancie Atwell and my mentor while at NYU Maureen Barbieri laid a solid foundation of practices that have served me well. I ambushed Tom Romano (read THIS then THIS) at NCTE a few years ago and introduced myself and gushed about how much his writing and ideas have influenced and inspired.  I have learned to modify and make their work my own and I have developed my own methods that have served my students well over the years.

In talking with Chris (@the_explicator) today I was struggling with the prompt.  My mind went to broad things like the divide between public and charter schools here in NY, but as we quickly refined I came to this: the thing that has to end for EDUCATION to move forward is for educators- teachers and administrators alike to stop thinking of students as "these kids" and start thinking of them as "our kids".

When I began teaching, I worked in what some would say is the toughest neighborhood in NYC.  We had 150 kids that first year and a teaching staff of 9.  Our kids came to us from a range of backgrounds and experiences that had led them to alternative high school: teen parents, gang members, illegal immigrants, drug dealers, kids who were homeless and living in shelters with their family, kids who got lost in giant NYC schools and slipped through the cracks in the system, kids who were super smart and bored and stopped working because were lost in their school, kids who were bullied because of their sexuality or how they looked...

I wanted to work in alternative schools because I believed, and still do, that all children deserve great teaching and educators who will work hard for them.  It had seemed to me that programs that push inexperienced and undertrained teachers into the highest need schools were doing students a disservice (I'll qualify- there are some amazing teachers that come out of TFA and NYC TF, but it takes time and many drop out..and there are crap teachers that come out of fancy programs like NYU, Teacher's College at Columbia and Bank Street that are also crap teachers.)  There were colleagues over the 5 years I was at that school who would talk about our populations as "these kids" with distain and sometimes resentment.  "These kids can't be taught." "These kids can't learn, that is why they are here."  "These kids are a waste of my time."  I heard it all, from adults who for many kids were a first line of defense and they had no interest in defending, teaching, caring for our students. Over time I became very vocal when I heard "these kids" uttered in staff meetings.  "Not these, OUR kids."  I am sure some of my coworkers didn't like it but I didn't care.

It was hard to leave alternative schools to go to a more mainstream "traditional" school.  9-12th grades (though I came in year two- only a freshman and sophomore class).  We are a limited-unscreened (no test required to get in) school even though we are specialized- all students who come can learn to code and many will be able to earn a CTE certification upon graduation in addition to a diploma. They don't have to take a test to get in and we don't look at test scores.  Our students who live in public housing learn along side affluent kids from families on the Upper East Side.  They all have equal access to education and training that has historically been limited to the brightest (and the best test takers!).  Occasionally I hear those dreaded words "these kids" and "those kids" and I have the same reaction even though the context may be different.  At this school I try to model the language that I think is the best way for teachers to talk about students rather than being bossy. :-) Always: our kids.

In order for education to move forward we must stop thinking of children as a product, number or percentage. School should not be thought of as a business (and be privatized). They are all our children and it is our responsibility as educators to be authentic and real with them, to support them through ups and downs and to be their greatest advocates once they step inside our school.  These are OUR kids and should be thought of as such.

Prompt 3: Professional Responsibilities #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Side Note:
This morning I found myself looking forward to the new prompt.  I was talking to my husband last night about how much I enjoy this short form writing.  I have done NaNoWriMo a few times, never getting more than about 20,000 words (the goal being 50,000).  Blogging allows the writer to create a vignette- a complete movement of story telling, that follows an arc and takes the reader on a journey- even if it is just around the corner and not across the country.  I have felt the most inspired when I have been blogging, never forcing the writing but letting the ideas come and the words flow.  It is when I feel the most authentically me.

I was talking to a couple of my colleagues about the April Blog A Day Challenge- about how I am enjoying the network it is helping to cultivate and pushing me to reflect on my practice. It is often difficult to find the time to reflect on the day to day but in thinking about the larger pieces I am able to do the reflection that is so helpful to my development as an educator. That said...

Prompt 3: 

What's our most important professional responsibility outside the classroom?

Many of us over the last 5 or so years have gotten to know Ms. Danielson and her Framework for Teaching well.  It is the language NYC Principals use to talk to teachers about their development and ultimately how we are evaluated at the end of the year.  Last year all 22 elements of the FfT were used.  This year, with the new contract, there are 8:  1a, 1e, 2a, 2d, 3b, 3c, 3d, and 4e.  Domain 4 is the one that is all about professional development. 4e is Growing and Developing Professionally. The elements of component 4e are:

• Enhancement of content knowledge and pedagogical skill
• Teachers remain current by taking courses, reading professional literature, and remaining current on the evolution of thinking regarding instruction.
• Receptivity to feedback from colleagues
• Teachers actively pursue networks that provide collegial support and feedback.
• Service to the profession
• Teachers are active in professional organizations in order to enhance both their personal practice and their ability to provide leadership and support to colleagues.

I remember as a newer teacher, finding time to do all these things was challenging.  Even now, between the 16 classes I teach each week (plus advisory) and grading and planning... when do I find time to do things to develop myself? I have always found the most time in the summer- last summer I took a class offered by the College Board for teachers of AP Lang at I took at Hofstra University.  It was a week of challenging work and inspiring thinking with teachers who were amazing.  It had been a long time since I had been in a classroom setting and it was an excellent reminder of what it meant to challenge myself, to stretch my thinking in order to get better at what I do.  

When I returned to school in August as we began our summer PD and Teacher Development (integrating a new group of teachers into a growing school- next year will be our first year with all 4 grades) I was surprised by how new so may of them were.  New teachers work hard.  New teachers are pliable. New teachers are inexpensive.  And New Teachers Are Young.  As a career changer, I came into the system at 30, not 22.  For the first time in my career I was senior- by years of experience and by age.  I am not an administrator though so I don't have that kind of status with the staff.  I am a model teacher, a new position in the DOE this year, which has pushed me further into the teacher leadership role.  This was also the first year where I didn't feel like I fit in with my colleagues.  At my previous school there were only 12 teachers and we stuck together for the most part, but I was also new and there were teachers who had much more experience than me and I looked to them as mentors.  Now I am the mentor...how do I continue to develop my practice while supporting the development of new teachers?

This winter I FINALLY made the decision to pursue my administration certification.  Less because I want to be an admin and more because I NEED to continue to develop and evolve in my practice and the skills I have. I am begging to create a vision for what I want the next 10 years to look like and it is my professional responsibly to grow, to challenge myself and be an example for new teachers as well as students: practice what I preach!  EVOLUTION is our most important professional responsibility. 

Day 1: Are You Where You Thought You Would Be? #AprilBlogADay

I have committed to the April-Blog-A-Day Challenge from Chris Crouch (@the_explicator).  I have been blogging regularly on my personal blog for the last year an a half.  I have found it a great way to reflect and process some big experiences (weight loss surgery followed by thyroid cancer this year!). As things happen personally one has to keep working professionally, at least I know I do.  I am thrilled to begin this April Blog A Day Challenge.

Prompt 1: Are you where you thought you would be?

When I read this question, the first prompt of this project, my thoughts immediately went to my career.  I think this is because this has been a year of shifts and changes for me. But let's go back...Last school year I joined the staff of a new school at the end of it's first year, excited to help a school grow, continue to gain it's footing in NYC Schools, and to learn a new community and new population of students.  Then last summer, because we are a PROSE school, applied and was selected as a Model teacher for the NYC DOE.  I applied because I love the process of coaching and working with teachers. Spending this year in this role opened my eyes to just how much I enjoy this collaboration. I am so inspired by the work and thinking of my colleagues and I become a better educator through the conversations I have with them and work we do to support student learning and development.  

The odds are not in the favor of teachers here in NYC.  The turn over is about 3 years and I am heading into the end of my 7th year. There were times in the first 5 years where I didn't know if I could make it another year, but I always did.  I always came back because I loved my kids.  I was working with an alternative population in what NYC calls transfer schools (over aged-16-21 and under credited- they are behind, sometimes way behind in credit accumulation).  I was passionate about my kids and wanted to see them succeed more than anything. All kids should have access to great education, passionate educators and challenging curriculum that pushes them to grow and learn. So I have stayed with it.  I have stayed with the kids. 

This year I have also taken on teaching AP Lang for the first time.  Professionally, as an educator I think I have grown more this year than any other since the first year.  I have worked hard to design and implement a curriculum that does all the things I think are important.  I was off to a strong start, students are making progress, growing as writers of nonfiction and using strong rhetoric to support their thinking.  Then at the beginning of February I was diagnosed with cancer and it threw me for a loop.  Is this where I thought I would be?  What does this mean for me?  For my kids?  How will I give them my best work if I am not 100% me? 

Two weeks before my surgery to remove my thyroid and a large baseball size tumor in my neck, I told my AP students.  I, like any good teacher, put together a powerpoint with pictures and diagrams to explain to the room of 16 and 17 year olds that while I did have cancer it was not something I was going to die from.  It was going to impact my life and my time with them as I went through treatment and recovery. I had planned to be out Wednesday through the following Monday and would return Tuesday but I had complications, hypocalcemia and as a result landed in the ER Saturday morning, and as a result pushed back my return by a week.  My first thought was, what about the kids?  I am going to lose so much time with them!  (I only see AP 3 days a week for an 80 minute class.)  

As we know, kids are resilient: they bounce back and most are able to roll with the punches.  I got a ton of emails from kids, I was able to tap two to collaborate on leading a reading and discussion of a short story connected to our larger unit theme of Community.  Kids rise to the occasion and are amazing.  I have to also.  That is my responsibility as an educator, mentor and teacher leader.

So, am I where I thought I would be?  No.  Life is unpredictable and fast.  It's ok that I am not where I thought I would be, personally or professionally.  I never thought I would have cancer (especially not at 37).  The best thing I can do is demonstrate resilience- for my peers and my students and hold on the enjoy the ride.  We will get there, eventually.