Day 8: Celebration #aprilblogaday

I had a rough day today. It's hard to think about celebrations after a kid loses their crap AT you in a small group setting. But I'll try...

Ways I have celebrated...

I make cupcakes for every advisee on their birthday every year. They get to pick cake and frosting flavor.  We have cupcakes 11 times a year.

Before the winter break we go out for a dinner together, as an advisory (11 junior girls). It's a nice way to come together and share a meal before winter break.

After the AP exam I have a party with my class.  It has been joyful and celebratory of their evolution.

Teenagers like to celebrate with food.  (Who doesn't?)

I produce the Talent Show twice a year- a celebration of all the creative talent and performing artists in our school.

Our school does a great job of celebrating and thanking teachers for their work.   

Big picture- ritual is important, even in your class.  I love the rituals my advisory had created to celebrate.  

Day 7: Change Is Not Risk Free

-->Change: Are you the first to embrace something new or are you resistant? What gets you excited to try something new in your classroom?

I have always been an early adopter of: new. Sometimes it was because I was asked to, as a leader in my school, to learn so I could turnkey for my colleagues, a common practice. When the CCLS were rolled out the summer of 2009 here in NYC I was sent for a week of training at Columbia University. I remember asking the facilitator what the student facing version of the document was, to which she promptly corrected me --this is a document for teachers, not students. So much has changed in 7 years.

When I made the move to AFSE it was in part because I believe in the mission and goals of our school. We were founded on the idea that CS is indeed for all (before the Mayor/CSNYC and later our President jumped on board). CS skills have become life skills; code a language to learn like any other.  Last spring when I was offered an opportunity to do a day long training with some of my colleagues on using SCRATCH, the platform our 9th graders begin with, I absolutely signed up. It has taken me down a rabbit hole to Wonderland. 

I have been the first in my school to create integrated learning of CS and theatre. (Read a little about my journey here, in The New Yorker) I am working with one of our CS teachers to design mastery rubrics (we are a mastery based school) that could be used by any teacher. I found myself on a conference call with a new company discussing the possibility of using their platform in our CS classes next year. Listening to myself talk about our school, goals and what I do in my class was a bit shocking.  I've come far in 3 years. I was willing and open to new learning and it has served me well. 

Some change has been frustrating and other change, exciting. Usually going with the flow makes for a better experience.  At least for me. I don't always agree with all the change, but that is not the point. We don't always have a say in change. However, as educators, we are models of what it means to be resilient, to learn and to evolve for our students. 

Taking risks has served me well. As Boal said, "Change is not risk free." It's true. Every day we step into our classrooms we take risks, we try new things, we crash or we soar but we always take the risk. It's what leads to change, growth and evolution of our craft.

Day 6: My Year of Jazz #AprilBlogADay Challenge

-->Thinking Back: Teacher that had an influence on you as a student (k-12 or higher ed).

VIA

I have written a lot about the drama teachers in my life over the years, and English teachers.  It's no surprise I eventually made my way to teaching both subjects.  It is where my heart has always been.  But there were others.  Many others.  Scott Brown was one...

At the end of 10th grade I took a risk and auditioned for Vocal Jazz. When I explain to my students where I went to high school- it was like the LaGuardia of Seattle.  I attended during the height of Mr. Van Kempen's tenure as head of the Theatre program.  Theatre is where my heart was.  But I also loved to sing.  It was a huge surprise to me when I was granted a coveted spot in Vocal Jazz for the upcoming school year. 

Junior year of high school, I was in Roosevelt High School's Vocal Jazz ensemble.  I was never the best singer.  I struggled with sight reading and I relied heavily on the stronger singers around me to follow the alto part.  As a whole, it gave me a ton of anxiety.  Mr. Brown yelled, a lot but he was and is one of the best music teachers around.  His passion for music was exciting and inspiring.  That year we got to travel to The Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival (and Mr. Hampton was still living at the time and performed to a packed house), we sang a Seattle's famed Jazz Alley and there were concerts and programs through out the year.  

I remember feeling uncomfortable- the stronger singers were also these tiny girls who wore tight black dresses to perform in.  I had picked out a billowy white top and black pants- I think I had a beautiful red silk scarf that I wore as well.  I felt so out of place- classic impostor syndrome.  This year was also approaching the pinnacle of my eating disorder in high school.  I was the same age as my Advisory is now.  I hope I do a better job of being body positive...

So Mr. Brown gave me an opportunity to try something new.  I am not sure if he was taking a risk in picking me for that year or not.  It was  a benchmark in my life.  Now that I can't really sing any more (thank you thyroid cancer and vocal cord paralysis!) the opportunity to sing like that means even more.  Sometimes I forget that it was something I did- then I hear Ella sing and I float back to another time. 

I don't know that Mr. Brown would even remember who I was, but I remember him.  I always will.

Day 5: Self-Care

Prompt: How do you pace yourself throughout the week? What rituals for self-care do you have that make the school year a little easier to manage.

I am a big fan of spending an hour in the chair each week.  Very early on a seasoned teacher told me that every teacher should have a good therapist. I agree.

Image via Here

My first year of teaching I didn't take one day off; and I planned my wedding and got married the following summer.  I thrive on being busy.  This is something I have learned about myself as the years have passed.  Summer vacation can be difficult for me-too much unstructured time and not having deadlines to meet.  When I went back to work the following September, I had fallen into a deep depression and nothing was helping.  I found a therapist at my neighborhood women's health collective and began seeing her each week.  It helped to have an outlet each week to talk about the things I was experiencing as a teacher, as a new wife, as a human.   I did this for me.

Seven years and three therapists later- my time in the chair each week is what has saved me.  It is my self-care. While I like to think that school is my central focus, we all have things going on outside our schools that need time and energy.  Therapy helped me prepare for weight loss surgery two and a half years ago.  A year ago as I battled cancer.  This year as I continued to have health issues related to the previous two surgery that required two more surgeries in November and again in February.  It is not the responsibility of my school community or my students to support me through this (though they do, in many many ways), my time processing with my therapist each week is my own self-care.  This is the biggest thing I do for myself.

Through the week I wish I could say there was more I did for myself.  I enjoy an iced decaf Americano every morning.  (I gave up caffeine in January.) I don't answer email after 8 pm. I try to be in bed by 9:30 to be up by 6 am.  There is more I could do.

What do you to take care of yourself?  I would love to hear from other educators.
 

Day 4: Teacher As Mentor #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt: Support- How do you support other teachers? 

The summer before I started my first year of teaching we did 4 weeks of professional development.  We were 9 teachers working to open a new alternative high school in East New York.  One of my favorite memories was an afternoon planning with the other English teacher, a more seasoned teacher-- maybe 5 years in at that point(?)--who I looked to as collaborator and mentor.  We exchanged ideas and excited suggestions that afternoon, charting out the year on paper with markers.  It proved to be a benchmark experience for me.  This is what co-planning could look and feel like. 

As time went on, the support faded as did the collaboration.  It was a result of many outside forces pulling at our teaching community and hurt the work.  That first year I had a lot of informal mentoring from experienced teachers and coaches. I, for the most part, felt supported. There were struggles, especially as the years went on.  When administration in small schools learn that you don't need a lot of support- they focus their attention on where it is needed: teachers who struggle, instructionally or with management. I quickly learned not to ask for help unless I truly needed it. So I didn't ask.  I fended for myself and learned as I went along.

 Now I am the mentor.  First year teachers are required to have a year of mentoring that is logged into an official tracker.  Teachers I have mentored are now mentors themselves.  This is the goal right?  That the mentees become the mentors? Torches are passed, growth takes place and ultimately we all learn.  I do love working with teachers this way.  This year in many ways has been my most successful year- mentoring two young men, an English teacher who I also co-plan with  and a music teacher.  Very different strengths.  Very different content.  While I am not a music teacher, I am a theatre teacher and understand the constraints of teaching a required arts course in a very not arts focused school community. 

I learn so much from the hours I spend talking 1:1 with teachers.  Sometimes conversations are about navigating the system, other times they are about co-teaching dynamics, then there are the times when a teacher just needs space to vent or to be heard.  We have all been there.  I have worked with some very seasoned teachers over the years and I don't know that I will ever see myself as I saw them but as schools get younger and younger, I am the seasoned teacher and it is my responsibility to support new generations of teachers.  Hopefully the work I do will help them to stay. 

Day 3: Dear Meredith... #AprilBlogADay Challenge

                              Prompt: Advice to a first year me- If you knew then what you know now.

Dear Meredith,
      I know those moments in your first classroom were challenging.  I know that you thought you would be an agent of change, that you would make a difference in the lives of your students.  Both those things are wonderful, and looking back- you did make a difference.  Your kids from the early years are in their late 20's now- older than many of the teachers you work with now.  Most are doing well.  They have jobs, families, many went to college.  They are thoughtful, courageous, and loving.  They will remind you years later that all the extra hours, the tears (in and out of the classroom) were worth it.  You made an impact that first year, you did make a difference.

    How do you do it?  You hang on and enjoy the ride. You get out of the way sometimes and let your kids teach you.  You will never have all the answers, you will never be an expert of everything.  That is not why you are there.  You are there to witness the journey, to fuel the spirit of learning and discovery so when they leave you, they can do it on their own. 

  Dearest Meredith, they wont all change the world but they will change their worlds. They will be agents of change in their own lives and in the lives of others.  They will mourn those they have lost and celebrate the achievements of those they still have.  They will look back on their time in your room and remember your kindness and joy and not the tears.  There will come a time when they are there for you and the script will flip and you get to depend on them.  That is how it is supposed to be.  When this happens, know that you did your job and you did it well.  That is why they are still in your life now.  You didn't try to make them into something else. You witnessed the evolution of who they were always meant to be.

Well done.

Me

Day 2: Glows - #AprilBlogADay Challenge

Prompt: Glows- what are my greatest strengths as an educator?

When it comes to the craft of teaching, we all have Glows: areas where we shine and our best comes out for the world to see. There have been times in my career when my best was in the classroom, in my element teaching and learning with my students. Others times my glows were more prominent outside my 4 walls as I planned and developed curriculum. 5 years in a transfer school where I created 2 new courses every 12 weeks, three times a year helped me to become efficient, fluid, and to build up my so called teacher toolbox. 

Today, in 2016, I think one of my greatest strengths is that I know there is always room to improve.  The things that don't work are not so crushing as they were earlier in my career.  I have developed teaching resiliency.  It is safe for me to take risks that sometimes pay off and sometimes I fail horribly.  Failure though, is now an opportunity for professional growth, having a deeper understanding of how to determine why something didn't work has become yet another tool I have to support my development.  It has come with time and experience.